Thursday, 13 December 2012

Bein' Saucy...Oh, She's got Issues

I've got Hair Issues

 
Kaelan and I are enjoying the SWEETEST snuggles on the couch. I'M all - awwwww...
 
"You need a haircut," Kaelan tells me.
 
Okaaayyy...SOMEBODY is not feeling the love nearly as much as I.
 
"Excuse me?"
 
"Your hair is poking my eyelashes," he informs me.
 
"Alright. Maybe Mommy will go get short hair."
 
"No! I like eating things out of your hair!"
 
Eeeyyuuuwwww!!!
 
Let me clarify: Many children on the Autism Spectrum have sensory processing issues. They are hypersensitive to some things (light, sound, smell, touch) or hyposensitive to others. These things ebb and flow due to stress and health issues. How to cope with a nerve-wracking, noisy, bright unpredictable world? Stimming!
 
Everybody stims. Finger tapping, pencil chewing, hair twirling. Repetitive, comforting motions. You get the idea.
 
THIS is what he was trying to get across - one comfort is trying to mouth hair. (SO - for the record, I don't have creepy crawlies or Cheetos in my "do".)
 
"You can eat things out of my hair," he generously offers.
 
"...Sweet, but no thanks."
 

The Christmas Countdown

 
My biggest boy was being a seƱor cranky pants this morning. I tell him 'tis the season to be JOLLY (dammit!).
 
"Christmas is coming," I remind him.
 
"18 days." He's got the countdown thing down pat.
 
"You have to be good not JUST on the last day. You know, people are Christmas shopping for your presents beforehand."
 
"But...peoples only have two hands."
 
I could only nod and walk away at that.
 
 

Oh Rosetta, that Saucy Sailor Talk...

 
Reece was filling me in on his linguistic ability on the way to school this morning.
 
"I can speak Vampire," he informs me proudly.
 
"Oh my!" I had NO idea he'd been hanging with the undead crowd.
 
"I can also speak Scottish."
 
This was a bit of a surprise as well. I don't remember Gaelic being on the menu in his school.
 
"Do you want to hear?"
 
"Absolutely!" If you think I was going to miss this, you're crazier than I am.
 
"Aye laddie. Come here! Let's pin a tail on ya!"
 
Wow! I almost peed.
 
I can just see my ancestors, three sheets to the wind - playing pin the tail on the Laird!
 
"I can speak Japanese, too. But it sounds like bad words... You know...s-h-i-t-e and that one with the middle finger. It's a pretty angry language."
 
Rosetta Stone, rated M for mature.

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